Why it’s Okay to Stay with Your Cheating Partner

If your partner cheats, the assumption is you’ll leave. Others trying to support you will often say things like “take him for all he’s worth!” or “make him pay!” Perhaps in the past you’ve even claimed that “if he ever cheats, I’m outta here!” The decision seems so clear – until you’ve been cheated on.

In reality, there’s more drama, emotion, and pain to contend with than you ever anticipated, and leaving is not always the right option. Or if it is, now may not be the right time. Here’s what you need to know.

Five Reasons Why it’s OK to Stay:

1. You need time to “catch up!” How long has your partner been unfaithful? You need at least that amount of time to process what he already knows.
2. Staying for now doesn’t mean staying forever. Marriage and relationships are complex. Deciding to work it out doesn’t mean you are trapped forever. Give it as much time as you need to figure things out.
3. Divorce is hard! The average divorce costs between $10,000 and $15,000 if it’s not contested. Family, friends, home, investments, retirement, and everything changes. If you want a divorce, get divorced, but don’t dive in unless you are sure.
4. Marriages that face infidelity can be stronger and happier than they were before. It takes intention, desire, and a whole lot of work, but this could be the catalyst you need for a fresh start.
5. Staying can help you get honest about yourself, your needs, and your marriage. Now is the time to look inside, do some deep self-reflection, and assess who you are, what you want, and how you want your marriage to be. There are always trade-offs. Staying, or the idea of staying, can push you to get honest about what you will and won’t tolerate, and what you do and don’t want.

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About Lora:

Attorney, speaker and Burnout & Betrayal Recovery Coach, Lora Cheadle believes that betrayal uncovers the truth of what’s possible when we stop focusing on what was done to us and start showing up unapologetically for ourselves. She helps women rebuild their identity and self-worth after infidelity so they can reclaim (or find for the very first time) their confidence, clarity, and connection to source and create their own kind of happily ever after.

 

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